Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
