I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
