I can tuck mytits in my pants
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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