i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
