he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I skipped work to stalk him.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
