We won't sleep together?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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