Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
