we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
