the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize