Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
