I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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