Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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