Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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