idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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