My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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