First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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