omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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