I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
