ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
So. Much. Porn.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
