Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
