hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
