I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
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