..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
3pm strippers are depressing
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
