If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm at about main and main street
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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