i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
