I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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