Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
