The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
