If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ttyl tear gas
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
