Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
