he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
