At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
