Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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