btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
