and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
