right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
