Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
