Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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