I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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