your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
