The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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