maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
