You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
