Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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