i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
