I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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