dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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