i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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