plz talk dirty to me
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
