Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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