I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
